Lyme Jokes
You might be a Lymie if…
- Similarly, enter/exit, cup/bowl, right/left are all interchangeable and you expect people to understand which one you really mean regardless of what comes out of your mouth.
- Your BMI is so low that you legally couldn’t be a runway model in approximately ten countries.
- You have Lyme brain or brain fog, and you could explain what it was, if only you could… what was I talking about again?
- You can’t watch commercials because of the sudden changes in light and noise, and you think that sort of thing should probably be illegal.
- Your friends no longer think its odd for you to randomly burst out laughing and/or sobbing.
- You may or may not have punched through a wall, torn your hair out, or banged your head against the floor.
- You don’t need to wear make up on Halloween because you already look like a zombie.
- Maps don’t have meaning. The world is directionless.
- When the receptionist at your LLMD said you needed to make an appointment for the week after Thanksgiving, you looked blankly from her to your day-planner and back again and said “I’m sorry, you’re going to have to be more specific. Can you point to it?”
- Your doctor asks you as a test, if today you know who the president is and you answer…“His name is something like …a tree?“ and he tells you “It’s Bush” and you’re proud cause you were close THIS time!
- You go in one room three times in a row looking for your shoes, only to find out from your five year old sister that they’re on your feet.
- When describing a herx you say, “You feel like a drug addict having withdrawals that has the flu.” You laugh and others around give the WTF look.
- If your nurse and your LLMD send you to the ER, and the theme song to Cheers (“where everybody knows your name”) pops into your head.
- If you are able to diagnose other Lyme patients before 20 specialists can.
- At one time or another, you have decided that shoes with laces, socks, slippers, or flip flops are unnecessary accessories.
OR
4. You have given up footwear all together and now refer to yourself as a “barefoot hippie”. - When you were diagnosed with Lyme you cried, shouted, or hugged your LLMD (which was slightly awkward for both of you).
- You have more pills in your closet than a drug dealer.
- Your pain management specialist has informed you that your regiment of painkillers should be enough to tranquilize a horse, but they have little to no effect on you.
- You can’t sleep even though you’re always exhausted. See above for horse tranquilizer dilemma.
- “b” and “d” might as well be the same letter.